Stay at home Momma

For years as my husband and I prepared to have children I thought I would be superwoman.  Work full time, be super wife and mom, and many other things.  Before I get too far into this post, I want to express that I have the utmost respect for moms and dads that are both working full time jobs and raising their families.  I just had unrealistic expectations of what my life was going to look like.  There is a sacrifice whether you decide to stay home and raise your children or choose to continue to work full or part time.   I learned a few years ago that all my thoughts prior to starting our family were coming from a place of which I had no experience in.  I had no idea what was involved in raising a family, especially raising a child with physical and emotional special needs.  I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years and prior to making this change in life, I would have told you it wasn't for me.  

When Aiden came home 3 years ago Dave and I knew he needed to have someone there for him all the time, a constant connection, so we decided that it was best for me to stop working and stay home.  I had the hardest time with this.  I dreamed for so long to start our family, but in my mind I could only see us bringing home an infant or toddler through adoption.  For years I walk though the baby section of Target and imagined buying items for our little one, so it was a bit weird to be new parents to a 5 1/2 year old.   For months I struggled with this transition in my life, I didn't speak of it much to others, but I did talk to God often about it.  I'll never forget the day I was heading home and I knew Father God was speaking straight to my heart.  This transition of staying home was just as much for me as it was for Aiden and Ethan.  Holy Spirit revealed to me that for years I found my identity in being a wife, working in the ministry, or my involvement in different areas, but  3 years ago Father was shifting my world so I would only find my identity in being His daughter.  Yes, I am a daughter of the King.  A laid down lover of Jesus Christ.   My heart was right in all that I was doing, but God had to break something off, so I could see some new things.  I am not perfect, but I love the One that is.  Nothing in life satisfies me like resting in the arms of God. 

Now 3 years later, I find such joy being able to take Aiden to school everyday and pick him up.  I am so blessed to be able to spend the days with my sweet Ethan and watch him grow and experience life. Yes, there are days that I miss putting on work clothes, but I will never ever get these days back with my boys.  Ethan is only 3 once, Aiden is only 8 once and before I know they will be grown.   I am blessed to work with a ministry that is overseas, so it keeps my skill set sharp and I have that outlet  to work with folks all around the world.  Soon Dave and I hope to move our family back to China. We've had several obstacles over the last 3 years, but we are over-comers in Him.  We all need to make the best decisions for our families and it looks different for everyone.  I feel so blessed and honored to stay at home with my boys and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world..... except maybe a cruise vacation with Dave.  ;)  Kidding!!!